泡网俱乐部

• Dr. G wrote:

Almost 2000, comments - mostly disagreeing with Chua - should hint that the author wasn't so great at convincing us of her superior parenting. Despite having two degrees from Harvard and being a Law professor at Yale, Chua, like so many other Asian parents, confuses objective measurable accomplishments with subjective happiness in life. Immigrant mothers makes this mistake because, back in China, the only way out of poverty and have a half decent life is to excel in academics, beat out 99.9% of the competition, get into university, and obtain a good job. Those who failed to work hard early in life were destined to a life of hard labor in the fields and wrought with regret of their wasted youth. This was the Chinese dream for centuries and has been deeply engrained in the Chinese psyche.
However, life doesn't work this way in modern western societies. Excellence is rewarded to some extent but even those who do not receive straight As are able to have a happy and fulfilling life. Success in life is less dependent upon measurable musical and academic excellence and more on inmeasurable traits such as social skills (dating market), confidence (interview market), creativity and risk taking (business and startups). These are all skills which many Asians in the US lack when compared to their peers. This is not surprising if you have kept your child pent up in the house all day practicing the piano and doing extra homework instead of going to playdates, participating in team sports and socializing. The emotional blackmail and emphasis on criticism doesn't help either.
It is also a fallacy to think that excellence can be squeezed out of just anyone with the appropriate degree of parenting. Amy and her daughters are fortunately gifted with the DNA to excel when pushed. But what happens to the majority of Asian children who can't get straight A's no matter how hard they work? They are left with a childhood full of criticism, disappointment and self-loathing. It is also fortunate that she has daughters instead of sons since boys raised in the environment of constant criticism and abuse tend to grow up to be shy, socially inept nerds who lack confidence. Despite Amy's worship of Asian parenting, she didn't end up marrying Asian parenting's very product.
Fortunately, many second generation Asians have realized the fallacy of Asian parenting. It is sad that Chua (as intelligent as she is) not only fails to realign parenting strategy with reality but instead celebrates her methods as superior. My advice to her daughters: don't go to Yale for college - get as far away from your mother as possible.

- Asian Yale College '06