泡网俱乐部

不仅仅是什么该说什么不该说的问题，也是怎么说，怎么听，怎样尊重别人，那个穿西装的中国小孩，你儿子，你自己，还有MILES，以及MILES的父母，都应该在考虑内。

 

不管怎么说，发火是不对的，because it draws his focus to your emotional reaction instead of the logic behind your thoughts, and it will make him feel punished because humans (kids and adults alike) often look for affirmation (emotional or otherwise) from others, and in this case he will feel like he (or Miles) did not meet your approval and that is bad. 抱歉我写英文比写中文快得多。再说这道理你已经知道了。

 

Anyway, I think the incident touches upon several important aspects of life -- attitude towards money, notion of self worth, sense of boundary, respect for others, how to be tolerant, etc.  So it can be a great educational opportunity to explain all of this to him.  If it were me, I'd tell him something like:

 

There are many people in this world who think that money is very important, and some think that it's the most important thing in the world.  For that reason, and because how much money one makes is often reflected in the material things that one can afford, people tend to judge themselves as well as others based on the amount of material wealth they manage to collected around them.  People are free to think that way.  In fact there is good reason to think that money is important, because it is.  There are lots of things one can't do unless one had enough money. 

 

But more importantly, it is you who should think about the role that you want money to play in your life.  Do you think it's the most important thing to have, or are there other things that would be better (maybe more intangible things like happiness and love?).  No matter what you end up believing in, it's important to remember: 1. others have freedom in choosing what they believe in, it may not be the same as what you believe in, but it doesn't make them bad or wrong, and 2. do not use your own values to put down others.  There's a fine line between understanding something and making a judgment about its right or wrong.  There's also a difference between making a judgment for yourself -- we all have to do that, everyday -- so that you can decide how to act, vs. making a judgment on another person, and to then tell that person and others what you think, either without consideration for how the other person would feel, or with the intention of hurting the other person.  This last thing is NEVER ok.

 

Blah blah blah blah blah, etc etc etc. 道理你比我还明白，不过怎么跟他说很重要。